Kindergarten Baby: A Novel Read online

  “You poor things,” she said, giving them each a gentle pat on the head. “That must have been very scary for you. I know it was for me. Let’s get you all set up again. I promise we’ll take a real rest at the next safe parking place.” After securing Malcolm’s cage by weaving one end of the seatbelt through the bars of the cage, they drove off in search of a rest stop where she could walk Wendell and give them each a cool drink and a snack.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  About twenty miles east of the Zuni pueblo, Lindsey began to look for the dirt road that would lead them into the Cibola National Forest, where wilderness camping was allowed. She doubted she’d find the exact spot where she and Laura had camped for a week with a group of teachers on the summer after her first year of teaching, but that didn’t matter. Anywhere would do.

  “There it is‌—‌at least I think that’s it. All right guys, our camping adventure is about to begin.”

  She turned off the highway and onto the narrow dirt road. The first several miles were bumpy, but not bad. Then the road’s condition became far worse than she remembered. The dirt road deteriorated until it was little more than ruts. Brush and branches scratched the sides and bottom of her car, and she had to grip the wheel tightly just to keep it from lurching out of her hands. Soon she was battling not only the ruts, the roots, and the branches in her low clearance vehicle, but also a much steeper incline. The car’s wheels sputtered and spun on the dry, powdery dirt which, she soon learned, was easier to navigate than the few steep, slippery, muddy spots where she got stuck several times. Fortunately, she was too busy learning new and demanding driving skills on the spot to think about the ramifications of the car getting stuck in this steep, remote area.

  Always the kindergarten teacher, she went into ‘I think I can, I think I can, I think I can’ mode while Wendell and Malcolm went uncharacteristically silent. After almost thirty long minutes, the terrain leveled off and she came upon a perfect spot for the three of them to set up camp. When she opened the door, Wendell bounded from the car with pure joy. Malcolm began to squawk for attention and a little freedom of his own, but she shook her head.

  “Sorry, buddy. I can’t take the chance of losing you this far from home,” she explained. But she did set the birdcage on a sturdy, level tree stump so he had a 360 degree view of Wendell, the trees, other birds, the bees…‌Then she began the chore of setting up the tent‌—‌another task she’d never attempted by herself.

  The four-man tent raising took longer that she’d anticipated, and by the time it was ready for occupancy the sun had slipped below the horizon. Lindsey was completely exhausted. There would be no cozy campfire or cooking tonight. She fed Wendell his food and she ate a granola bar, then brought nothing but water into the tent. There were still some seeds in Malcolm’s cage but she figured they were safe‌—‌she didn’t think they would attract wild animals.

  Wendell stretched out beside Lindsey’s sleeping bag, and Malcolm sat quietly in his cage in the corner. A slight, unexpected, and soothing drizzle tapped on the top of the tent as the temperature steadily dropped. The air felt damp and fresh, which was a welcome change after the hot, dry day.

  Lindsey lit her small, battery-operated lantern then stared at the envelope she’d brought with her from Tucson. She knew it was from Anthony.

  “I can do this,” she told her camping companions. “After all, what can he possibly have to say to me now? He cheated on me, moved out, then filed for a divorce, and not once did he show me the slightest consideration.”

  Their marriage had been over for a long time, she realized. Maybe the note was just letting her know that he wanted to stop by and pick up any remaining possessions. With a deep breath, she tucked her finger into the envelope, slit it open, and unfolded the plain white piece of paper inside.

  Dear Lindsey,

  I have been an idiot and a fool. And I’ve made so many mistakes. I realize now that you are the only one for me. I never should have left you. Call me at the office. Love, Anthony

  She couldn’t believe her eyes, so she read it out loud, needing to hear it. Was it some kind of a joke? Or could she be so tired that she was dreaming? All year she’d longed for him to come back to her. All year she’d pined for him and what they’d had together. But…

  Just what had they had together? That was debatable. If their relationship had been so good, if he’d truly loved her, he never would have had sex with that woman. Especially not in their house, in their bed.

  Take him back? She snorted, trying not to laugh. Did he think she was that stupid? That desperate? She would never take him back, and she would never trust him again. There had been a time when she would have tried, but not now. She was stronger and smarter than before, and she deserved better. And how insensitive of him, telling her to ‘call him at the office.’ He still didn’t get it. He had no idea how selfish he’d been. Not once had he attempted to be helpful as she struggled with being suddenly single and alone. No, she would not be calling him, and she would not be taking him back.

  This revelation surprised Lindsey. She was rejecting Anthony‌—‌the love of her life‌—‌and it felt good. She drifted off to sleep wearing a confident smile and feeling somewhat at peace with herself and her world.

  Malcolm was up with the sun, ready to start his day. The wild birds’ songs were being sung from a pleasant distance, but Malcolm chirped and squawked incessantly within the confines of the tent.

  “Well, good morning to you, too, Malcolm.”

  Lindsey stood slowly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She was achy and still wearing yesterday’s clothes, which were neither soft nor made for sleeping. The durable fabric had rubbed against her sore bug bites all night long; she hadn’t brought any ointment because she’d been so sure the sores would have been better today. Unfortunately, they were worse.

  “Oh, well,” she said with a sigh. She was determined to follow her personal pact of staying positive. “I’ll just make some tea and a cold compress, and I will be fine.”

  She finished setting up camp, then she and Wendell went in search of kindling and wood for the fire. Since she couldn’t carry much‌—‌and Wendell was no help when it came to carrying‌—‌they were back at the site every few minutes, stacking wood.

  Lindsey munched on apples and walnuts, her lunch for the day, then sat in the sun on her beach chair with her brand new journal. Her plan was to write about what she saw, experienced, thought, or felt during this getaway, including everything for which she was thankful.

  First Full Day of Camping in the Zuni Mountains

  I can’t believe I’m really here by myself. I never would have done this any other time in my life. Why did I do it now? Lots of reasons. Some I’m proud of, some I’m not proud of.

  The weather today is perfect. Not too hot, not too cool. I feel no breeze, but I can hear it high up in the tops of the tall ponderosa pines. Malcolm seems quite content in his cage. Sometimes it looks like he is communicating with the wild birds. Who am I to say he’s not? A few have come quite close to him. It’s like he has friends‌—‌birds of a feather. Wendell is Wendell. He goes with the flow. If I had to describe him right now, I’d say he’s working, doing dog work, and he feels important. He is ultra alert‌—‌not anxious or nervous, just very alert. That’s good.

  I appreciate my two lovable companions, the warmth of the sun, the lulling sounds of nature, the solitude of this location, and the opportunity…‌just to be.

  She shifted her position and groaned. “Damn! I do not appreciate these stupid bites or whatever they are.” She hesitated, wondering if she should include them in her journal. “It’s not a positive thought,” she said to herself, then decided. “But this is something I feel, and it’s very real. I’ll write about it the next time I add to the journal.”

  Lindsey lit a fire late in the afternoon so there would be good cooking coals when she was ready to cook hotdogs for herself and Wendell. In the meantime, she splurged and ate potato ch
ips with a soda, figuring she might as well drink it while it was still cold. By tomorrow, the ice in the cooler would probably be gone.

  Fortunately, they would likely sleep well tonight since the tent was now better organized. Lindsey put on soft, cozy pajamas and snuggled into her sleeping bag, then relaxed her head onto a pillow. Wendell preferred to sleep on top of the extra bag she’d brought for him. The sky still held light, but all three were ready for bed. Tomorrow they would explore.

  But Lindsey awoke during the night, dizzy, nauseated, and groaning with pain, aware that the pain was from the nagging bug bites. All she could think was that they had become infected. She tried to go back to sleep‌—‌the moon was still high in the coal black sky‌—‌but she couldn’t. As the black finally lightened to dark grey, Lindsey felt a powerful urge to pee. Unable to find the flashlight, she stumbled out anyway, hoping to reach the trench she’d dug for this purpose.

  “Come on, Wendell. You might as well come, too. We’ll be right back, Malcolm.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  The mountain air was chilly, and still relatively free of birdsong. Lindsey crouched next to a tall tree, clutching it when her dizziness intensified. At about the time she was pulling up her pajama bottoms, Wendell barked, which wasn’t something he usually did. He stared urgently in the direction of the tent then back at Lindsey, as if to say, Come on! Do something! Concerned, Lindsey hurried back toward the campsite, thinking only of getting back to the tent. Her foot caught on a tree root, and she went flying. She broke her fall with her right wrist, which slammed hard against a rough-edged rock, causing a new, greater pain. One that made her scabbed-over bites pale in comparison.

  Wendell walked to her side where she lay sprawled on the ground and licked the tears from her face, making a soft, whining sound.

  “Oh, Wendell. You are the best dog in the world,” she said, sobbing. “I thought this trip was a good idea, but now I’m not sure. We’re in the middle of nowhere, and nobody even knows we’re here.” She stroked his neck, seeking strength. “We’re on our own, Wendell, and everything is so much harder for me than I’m letting on. I don’t know what I’m doing, and now I have only the use of one hand‌—‌my left.” Fear began to overwhelm the pain she was feeling. “Oh, geez. We could be in real trouble.”

  She soaked her swollen hand and wrist in the remaining pieces of ice and cold water, then wrapped it with the gauze and tape she had in her first aid kit. As long as she didn’t attempt to use the hand, and as long as she kept it somewhat elevated, it felt okay. If she could build a fire, cook the food, dress and undress, use the trench‌—‌oh my, the list was long‌—‌they would all be fine.

  Easier said than done.

  By late afternoon, Lindsey had accomplished little more than trading pajamas for sweats. After attempting to tie her hiking books, she gave up and slipped her feet back into the crocs she’d worn earlier. Malcolm was banished to the tent for his own safety while Lindsey and Wendell went for a short and very careful walk to explore a little further than they’d been before. She couldn’t manage buckling the dog pack onto Wendell’s back, so the dog willingly donned a fabric grocery bag around his neck. He would be the keeper of any treasures they might find.

  They came to a small knoll paved with smooth, sparkling stones the shade of orange sherbet, and Lindsey had to smile despite everything. “My gosh, that’s beautiful.” She’d never seen glittering rocks like these, let alone an entire hill of them. She collected a few samples and placed them in Wendell’s bag, planning to research and learn about these geological treasures when they returned to Tucson.

  She decided to stay on or near the road, or at least within sight of the tent, since she couldn’t risk getting lost. So they made a wide circle around the camp, gathering pine needles and a few cones that would later become tea or kindling. She saw a patch of wild strawberry plants, but it was far too early in the season for berries, though a few of the leaves could be added to her tea. Wendell discovered a bone from a deer or a small cow, and he carried it proudly in his mouth for the duration of their walk.

  Their excursion took less than an hour, but by the time they arrived back at the tent, Lindsey was exhausted. Her body ached, her stomach felt queasy, her head pounded, and her hand throbbed. She needed to lie down. There would be no journaling today, since she couldn’t write with her left hand. They ducked into the tent, and Malcolm chirped softly to show he was glad for the company. Wendell rolled on his side and snuggled up with the bone. Lindsey leaned back and closed her eyes, relaxing to the sound of a gentle breeze drifting through the treetops above them.

  Suddenly, Wendell sat up abruptly and stared to the west, out the tent’s screen door flap. He was alert, focused, and in guard dog mode. Lindsey straightened, panicked and dizzy, and listened hard. She heard the sound of an engine, and adrenaline surged through her body. Fight or flight? Hell, she couldn’t fight. She searched through her duffle bag for the car keys, thinking the car would be a safer place to be. She could lock the doors and drive away, if necessary. But she couldn’t find the keys.

  The engine sound grew closer and closer, until it was too late to make a run for the car even if she did magically find what she was looking for. At least she had Wendell. His presence alone was formidable, and when he barked he’d certainly make any potential enemies think twice.

  But he didn’t bark. He remained still, watching out the door of the tent as the approaching vehicle came to a halt. Its door slammed shut, and footsteps crunched on the dry ground, headed steadily toward the tent. Lindsey cowered behind Wendell, trying to convince herself it was probably just another camper. Or maybe a forest official.

  Wendell whined, then he wagged. In fact, his whole body wagged. That was unexpected. It meant that either the intruder was someone Wendell knew and loved, or whoever it was had a T-bone steak to share.

  “Hey, boy. Where’s Lindsey?” asked a male voice.

  It sounded like…‌Jake.

  “Jake?” she asked quietly. “Is that you?”

  “Yours truly, at your service.” Lindsey sagged with relief, fighting back tears. “Should I come in or are you coming out?” he asked.

  “We’re coming out. We are all coming out.”

  Despite her joy at seeing a friendly face, Lindsey had mixed feelings. She was still furious with Jake for using her and Laura the way he had, and for all the lying he’d done. She assumed that she didn’t even know the half of it. Jake’s betrayal had been the last straw for her, the main reason she’d taken off on this wilderness adventure. On the other hand, she had to admit that she desperately needed his help right now, and she was glad to see him. She could no longer pretend that she was fine. Her side hurt from the scabs, her stomach had felt unsettled for days, her whole body seemed feverish and weak, and now her wrist throbbed, making even the simplest tasks nearly impossible. Yes, she needed help.

  Lindsey opened the tent flap, and Wendell bounded out. It was slow going as Lindsey got herself and Malcolm’s cage out with the use of only one hand, and when they finally did make it out, she got tripped up where the tent’s floor met the tent’s side. Jake stepped in immediately to set the birdcage upright and give Lindsey a helping hand. Their eyes met for the first time since the night of the Desert Performance, and both pairs of eyes conveyed looks of surprise and disbelief.

  “What happened to you?” they asked simultaneously.

  “You first,” Lindsey said.

  One corner of Jake’s mouth lifted, and it looked as if the movement was quite painful. His appearance was shocking. She didn’t tell him his left eye and cheek area looked like a rotten red potato, but if he happened to read her mind at that very moment, she’d assure him that there was no unpleasant odor at all.

  “It’s a very, very long story.”

  “The nutshell version then.”

  “Shawna slugged me.”

  She tilted her head, skeptical. “One punch did all that damage?”

  “
I don’t know. Maybe there were two punches, or I might have done some damage when I fell. I’m not sure about all the details, since I was knocked out for a while. She’s strong. Your turn.”

  “Oh, well,” she said, glancing at her elevated wrist. “I tripped on a tree root or something and fell on my wrist. It’s not doing too well.” She hesitated…‌and then decided to let Jake have it. “Actually, I look like this because you betrayed me, Jake. I’m angry, and this is what anger looks like on me. How could you have used me as a guinea pig for your research without even telling me? How could you pretend to be my friend all the while you were spying on me and my problems and my feelings and—”

  “I don’t blame you for being angry. I was going to tell you. That’s one of the main reasons I’m here—”

  “Speaking of which, how in the world did you find us here?” Lindsey had so many questions that even just thinking about them was overwhelming.

  Jake shook his head. “Listen. I have so much to tell you‌—‌far too much for you to digest or for me to tell in one night. Please, Lindsey, hear me out. Right now, let me build a fire and cook our dinner while you rest and drink the tea I’ll make for you. Tonight I will do my best to explain my research project, tell you all the mistakes I made, and the fiasco it evolved into. Then I’ll share the story of how I came to find you. If you’re willing, I’d like to stay here with you, and over the next three days, we can heal ourselves physically and mentally. Each night I’ll tell you another story that will help us both make sense out of this past year.”

  Lindsey was too weak to argue, but she wasn’t sure this was a good idea. It meant three more nights in the Zuni Mountains, and three more stories that would likely take her down the memory lane from Hell. She wasn’t at all sure she could do it, but…‌she could manage tonight. She wanted to know the scope of Jake’s research and find out the role her miserable life had played on the pages of his work. And she was hungry and tired. At least she would eat and sleep. And maybe, for the evening, she’d feel safe.